Group Dynamic

There are scientists and psychologists who report that the most powerful expression in the human repertoire is the smile.

When there is work to be done, and we’re “all business,” we might forget the power of the smile.  Not just to transmit our happiness, but to Read the rest of this entry »

A few weeks ago, I shared an unusual incident involving an appliance installer, and the Facebook discussion after I shared it online.

After the post, there was a bit more discussion, and I also finally offered my thoughts on the issue.  This week, I’ll Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s a phrase to purge:

…that would be great.

Two reasons why:

1) It’s not specific.  If we know that people are more engaged when presented with frequent, specific, direct feedback, then we need to seek out chances to be specific. If something “would be great,” why? Will it make life easier? Help meet a deadline? Make your motives clear? Establish credibility? Save work down the road?  Nearly every use of “that would be great” can have one of these specific reasons.  Take advantage of the opportunity.

2) Office Space.  The cult classic flick Office Space has a really bad boss in it, and he ends most requests with “That’d be great.” When you use the phrase, you’re emulating one of the ickiest pop-culture bosses ever.

So, if you could avoid this phrase, that’d be great.

So, if you could avoid this phrase, you’ll provide clearer communication and engage people more.

We’re just a few days past the Winter Solstice, the shortest darkest day of the year. A contrast to the holiday season, it can exacerbate hidden internal sadness in those around us.

I love Christmas music.  But not all of it at the same level of love.  I prefer minor keys, obscure pieces, and bleak moods that reflect peace and/or sadness.  ”God Rest Ye Merry” is a good one, as is “‘Twas in the Moon of Wintertime.”  Lots of good stuff in the French tradition.

My two favorite Christmas music albums are “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and “If on a Winter’s Night…”  The latter comes from Sting, who hits on a major theme of this time of year in the liner notes:

…I have an ambivalent attitude towards the celebration of Christmas.  For many, it is a period of intense loneliness and alienation… Winter is a time of darkness and introspection… [and] the gravitational pull of home that Christmas exerts on the traveller.

Walking amid the snows of Winter, or sitting entranced in a darkened room gazing at the firelight, usually evokes in me a mood of reflection, a mood that can be at times philosophical, at other wildly irrational; I find myself haunted by memories.

This can be a joyful and jolly time of year; so many lights and happy music and gatherings. But many folks are like Sting; haunted by memories of sadness exacerbated by the short dark days and the contrast with the flaunting of joy.

Enjoy the season – the lights, music, gatherings, festivities – but please stay sensitive. And allow yourself to feel the melancholy, too.  That can add to the beauty.

Happy New Year.

Yesterday, while working in my home office, workers from a local store came to install a new appliance.  I overheard a shocking conversation that struck me as inappropriate.  I selected a typical excerpt, and posted it on my personal Facebook page to see what conversation would ensue.  I was not disappointed. This was an interesting exchange that touched on Read the rest of this entry »

The phrase “I don’t care” is often used to give permission. It may be splitting hairs to talk about this phrase, but this blog has often been picky about the words that we use. Words are important.

Three points, in order from Read the rest of this entry »

Sometimes people feel disconnected from us because we come off as “too busy.” There are three words that can reverse this dysfunction.

A piece of equipment went missing, and I wasn’t told about it.  I found out Read the rest of this entry »

An earlier post discussed the perils of the use of the word “don’t.”

“Don’t” is negative, and can also be dismissive.  It’s also direct (that’s good) and easy (that’s why it’s frequently used).  There’s a nice alternative, though, that can quickly Read the rest of this entry »

Hannah was a young person volunteering at a community dinner.  She sure seemed like she didn’t want to be there.  She was listening to her iPod and had earbuds in both ears as she served peas to the public.  She was surrounded by about twenty adult volunteers.

At one point, Harold, one of the adult volunteers, finally said something.  He scowled, and Read the rest of this entry »

I once had two coworkers, Mark and Sally. In DiSC-speak, Sally was a high I, and used many many many exclamation marks in her e-mails. I am not exaggerating when I say that one of Sally’s e-mails could consist of three sentences and 13 exclamation marks. Mark, on the other hand,

Read the rest of this entry »

One problem with email is that it is efficient for the writer, but usually ineffective for the reader. One way to minimize this mismatch is to Read the rest of this entry »

“Hey, Tom, if you could get some of those account reviews done by Thursday, that’d be great.”

Sometimes, to sound “nice”, we make requests like the one above.  Casual (that’s a good thing), general (bad thing), with a deadline (good thing), but without a specific request (bad thing) or way to measure (very bad thing).

The result can descend into Read the rest of this entry »