Group Dynamic

When we talk about keeping things “positive,” sometimes people misinterpret this as “soft” leadership that doesn’t allow for high standards and hard work.

Wrong. Positive leadership can easily keep the standards high.

Previous posts on this topic:

Positive leadership is not soft.

Positivity as an essential part of leadership.

Thanks for watching — we’re still working on the tag line!

Tabby and Alan outline the value of timely, specific feedback; in just a couple minutes, you’ll have greater insight on improving engagement on your team.

Previous posts on this topic:

Feedback is about the future

Feedback is specific

Other posts on feedback.

Sarah and Alan talk about ways to convey information multiple ways, multiple times.

Related links:

Sarah Noll Wilson

Earlier post on this topic.

We talk about the ways to casually and effectively use “instead of” as a replacement for “don’t” in order to give folks a positive direction.

Related post: Two words…

Address specific behaviors, rather than general assumed mindsets, like “attitude” for more effective communication.

LInks:

Related post.

Tabby’s website.

Also, some of you pointed out last week that the 90-second burn is longer than 90 seconds.  It is, but the content portion is about 90 seconds.  You may skip the introduction, and the silliness at the end, but you’d miss out on the fun.  :)

A couple weeks ago, I shared the Quantum Apology Formula.

Two days ago, someone asked “Yeah, but what if Read the rest of this entry »

Leaders avoid saying things that shut down discussion and communication; some of these are obviously intended to do this, so using them can damage your credibility also.

Here are some examples:

“…Enough said.” or the colloquial “‘nuf said.”

“Last time I checked,”  followed by something like “this was still a free country.”

“Just sayin’”

“No offense, but…”

“yes, BUT…”

A great alternative to the last one is “yes, AND” or, “maybe… it is ALSO true that…”

In your next give-and-take – especially if it’s heated – ask yourself (or put on a sticky note in front of you):

“Is my language shutting down the conversation, or keeping it open?”

And remember to sometimes just say “I don’t know – what do YOU think?”

Dear friend, fellow educator, and previous guess blogger Matt Pries likes to share the following model, with is derived from the Quantum Learning school of thought: Read the rest of this entry »

I am clearly upset that Dr. Jones just bogarted the creme brûlée from my dining companion. It was gonna be mine!

I’m not going to let my worst experience with someone define my relationship with them.

Isn’t that great? Sometimes we have a bad experience with someone and think “whoa, now their true colors are finally coming out!” — and that puts us on guard in the future. Once bitten, twice shy (we think).

But we all have moments when we are at our worst. Usually, we regret them. And, we’re embarrassed. Lots of times we sweep it away, but it nags maybe, and we sure hope it doesn’t define us to others.

Unfortunately, it can. But, as leaders, we have to be emotionally mature and make sure we don’t let the worst experience we have with someone – the low-water mark – forever define our insights, relationship, and treatment of that person.

Another view — what if we let our BEST experience with a person rule our feelings toward them and treatment of them? Perhaps that’s just as foolish, but our world might be a more positive place…

This is a “rerun” from last year; some events of the last month have convinced me to share it anew:

We’re just a couple weeks from the Winter Solstice, the shortest darkest day of the year. A contrast to the holiday season, it can exacerbate hidden internal sadness in those around us.

I love Christmas music.  But not all of it at the same level of love.  I prefer minor keys, obscure pieces, and bleak moods that reflect peace and/or sadness.  ”God Rest Ye Merry” is a good one, as is “‘Twas in the Moon of Wintertime.”  There’s a lot of good stuff in the French, Celtic, and British choir traditions traditions that are haunting.

Two favorite Christmas music albums are “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and “If on a Winter’s Night…”  The latter comes from Sting, who hits on a major theme of this time of year in the liner notes:

…I have an ambivalent attitude towards the celebration of Christmas.  For many, it is a period of intense loneliness and alienation… Winter is a time of darkness and introspection… [and] the gravitational pull of home that Christmas exerts on the traveller.

Walking amid the snows of Winter, or sitting entranced in a darkened room gazing at the firelight, usually evokes in me a mood of reflection, a mood that can be at times philosophical, at other wildly irrational; I find myself haunted by memories.

This can be a joyful and jolly time of year; so many lights and happy music and gatherings. But many folks are like Sting; haunted by memories of sadness exacerbated by the short dark days and the contrast with the flaunting of joy.

Enjoy the season – the lights, music, gatherings, festivities – but please stay sensitive. And allow yourself to feel the melancholy, too.  That can add to the beauty.

Happy New Year.

If there’s one skill that leaders must master and habitually improve, it’s communication.

If you look at the list of topics to the right, you’ll see that it’s a pretty popular area of concern.  So many dysfunctions, productivity concerns, drama, misunderstandings, and performance Read the rest of this entry »

“Samantha, please reinstate the afternoon tea and coffee cart for the residents, starting in November.”

Samantha [delivered with sarcastic tone and an eye roll] : “Well, sure, why not. Last time we tried it, Read the rest of this entry »