Archive for the ‘Grace’ tag
A: When the relationship is strong enough, AND, according to coach John Robinson:
“Never criticize until the person is convinced of your unconditional confidence in their abilities.”
When I think of the people in my life that I willingly take criticism and feedback from, without taking it personally (though my wife and friends may point out that I still get a bit defensive), I realize the following:
They have faith in me.
Think of the people who get defensive when you address or criticize them.
Do they KNOW you have TOTAL faith in them? Or are they normal, and somewhat (or a lot) insecure?
Once you get to a great professional relationships, and they know you believe in them, you can start to give critical feedback. Until you hit that point, it will be less effective.
IMPORTANT: Continue to give positive feedback to reinforce that faith, at a ratio of 3 to 1, positive to negative. And make it specific.
Jayson and Alan discuss: Sometimes leaders need to walk the fine line between consistency and flexibility.
Matt and Alan discuss the ways that interrupting or insisting on having the last word can interfere with a leader’s intention to connect with others.
Effective leaders stand out:
Matt shares the Quantum Apology Model with Alan; the AAMR method helps leaders – and anyone – apologize with sincerity and grace in order to improve positive relationships and move forward from conflict or misunderstanding.
In a sense, self-centered behavior is normal.
If people tend to act in self-interest, how do WE deal with that, and get THEM to think beyond themselves? Take a couple minutes to hear Matt and Alan address this.
Previous posts on this topic:
A couple weeks ago, I shared the Quantum Apology Formula.
Two days ago, someone asked “Yeah, but what if Read the rest of this entry »
Everyone works through grief and the aftermath of trauma in their own way. Some of us have had success navigating stages of grief, and others have dealt with tragedy in their own, unclassifiable way.
It feels safe to say that everyone is Read the rest of this entry »
This is a “rerun” from last year; some events of the last month have convinced me to share it anew:
We’re just a couple weeks from the Winter Solstice, the shortest darkest day of the year. A contrast to the holiday season, it can exacerbate hidden internal sadness in those around us.
I love Christmas music. But not all of it at the same level of love. I prefer minor keys, obscure pieces, and bleak moods that reflect peace and/or sadness. ”God Rest Ye Merry” is a good one, as is “‘Twas in the Moon of Wintertime.” There’s a lot of good stuff in the French, Celtic, and British choir traditions traditions that are haunting.
Two favorite Christmas music albums are “A Charlie Brown Christmas” and “If on a Winter’s Night…” The latter comes from Sting, who hits on a major theme of this time of year in the liner notes:
…I have an ambivalent attitude towards the celebration of Christmas. For many, it is a period of intense loneliness and alienation… Winter is a time of darkness and introspection… [and] the gravitational pull of home that Christmas exerts on the traveller.
Walking amid the snows of Winter, or sitting entranced in a darkened room gazing at the firelight, usually evokes in me a mood of reflection, a mood that can be at times philosophical, at other wildly irrational; I find myself haunted by memories.
This can be a joyful and jolly time of year; so many lights and happy music and gatherings. But many folks are like Sting; haunted by memories of sadness exacerbated by the short dark days and the contrast with the flaunting of joy.
Enjoy the season – the lights, music, gatherings, festivities – but please stay sensitive. And allow yourself to feel the melancholy, too. That can add to the beauty.
Happy New Year.
I ate in a London pub with a group once, and the server made a mistake when calculating the bill. Unfortunately, he didn’t believe us, and our argument kept escalating. I got a little, um, Read the rest of this entry »
Four-way stops are easy, right? Stop, then take your turn after everyone else has gone. Is it a tie? Person on the right goes first. Easy. No problem.
Does everyone totally adhere to The Rules of the Four Way Stop? I bet they think they do. But you’ve seen these… Read the rest of this entry »